Tina ThrussellHave you ever reacted to criticism, or being told something you didn’t want to hear, or ‘bad news,’ etc. in a way that you instantly regretted?
I know I have… plenty of times! I have been ‘triggered’ more times than I can count. The instant rush of emotion that took over and made me blurt out terse words, raise my voice, or get defensive seemed to happen before I knew it was happening. (And it happened most often with those who are closest to me… do you find that to be true for you, too?)
You’d think I would know better. After all, I’m a mindfulness trainer! I teach people how to be more mindful so that there is less stress in their lives and they can have stronger relationships… but the truth is, I’m human, too! Like everyone, I sometimes forget to use my tools.
(This is a big lesson in itself – if you do react, don’t beat yourself up for it. Have some compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself. Then commit to doing better next time around.)
When I do catch that rush coming up and stem it before it erupts from my mouth… When I pause, breathe slowly, and ground BEFORE I open my mouth, what comes out is much gentler, more thoughtful, and less damaging.
It’s such a simple thing. Pause and breathe. In fact, take a few breaths before you speak.
Sigh. Yes, it’s simple, but it isn’t always easy.
However, it really is worth the effort to keep an eye on yourself and your energy. Notice when you feel flushed, when you feel the urge to defend, lash out or yell… and simply tell yourself to stop right then and there.
The outcome is guaranteed to be so much more positive when you pause and breathe. That pause gives you time to make a choice about what you say – to consciously respond, instead of just react. And everything turns out better in the end.
