L. Neil ThrussellWhy Opening Your Hands Opens Your Heart
“We must be willing to receive the good that God has prepared for us before we can enjoy it.” — Charles Fillmore
For many people, especially men raised to value self-reliance, giving feels natural, but receiving feels uncomfortable. We will offer help without hesitation, but when the roles are reversed, we deflect, downplay, or outright reject the gift.
This might look like:
- Saying, “You didn’t have to do that!” when someone surprises you with a kind gesture.
- Brushing off a compliment with, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
- Refusing help because, “I don’t want to be a burden.”
While this might seem humble, it can actually close the door on connection, growth, and even abundance.
In the language of the Shin Dao, this is about opening your heart, one of the Six Guiding Pillars, and living fully in the flow of giving and receiving.
Why Receiving Feels Uncomfortable
Tony Robbins often says, “The secret to living is giving.” And it is true that giving is one of the fastest ways to experience joy and meaning. But Tony also teaches that the ability to receive is equally vital because it allows others to feel that same joy through you.
In many of our cultural narratives, giving is seen as strong, while receiving is seen as weak. New Thought teacher Ernest Holmes, founder of Science of Mind, would disagree: “In order to have, we must be willing to receive. The act of receiving completes the cycle of circulation.”
The Spiritual Science of Receiving
Receiving is not passive, it is active participation in the Law of Circulation, a New Thought principle echoed across Fillmore’s Unity, Holmes’ Science of Mind, and Myrtle Fillmore’s healing teachings.
Myrtle wrote, “We receive according to the measure of our faith. We must expect and prepare to receive good, and we must open the way for it.”
Modern psychology agrees. A 2018 study in The Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who allowed themselves to receive social support without guilt reported higher life satisfaction, stronger relationships, and lower stress. In other words, the willingness to receive is good for both mind and body.
What Happens When We Resist Receiving
When you resist receiving, several things happen:
- You Block Connection – Receiving allows someone else to express love, respect, or appreciation toward you. Denying it shuts down that connection.
- You Disrupt the Flow of Giving – If no one receives, there can be no giving. The circle is broken.
- You Affirm Lack Instead of Abundance – Turning away gifts, opportunities, or compliments sends a subtle message: “There isn’t enough” or “I’m not worthy.”
Ernest Holmes reminds us, “We are surrounded by a Creative Law which receives the impress of our thought and acts upon it.” When our thoughts are “I don’t deserve this”, the Law responds accordingly by not delivering it.
Receiving as a Spiritual Warrior
As a spiritual warrior, receiving is not about greed or self-indulgence, it is about balance. Warriors know they cannot carry the whole world on their shoulders without replenishment.
In martial arts, you learn to receive your opponent’s energy, to redirect and work with it rather than resist it. Life works the same way.
Receiving well means:
- Looking someone in the eyes and saying, “Thank you” without deflection.
- Letting help come when it is offered, even if you could “do it yourself.”
- Accepting praise without minimizing your contribution.
How to Practice the Art of Receiving
Here are five simple ways to strengthen your “receiving muscle”:
1. Accept Compliments Graciously
When someone offers you praise, resist the urge to downplay it. Instead, smile and say, “Thank you, that means a lot.” This keeps the energy of appreciation flowing.
2. Let Others Help You
If someone offers to carry a bag, cook you a meal, or help with a project, allow them the joy of contribution. Remember: receiving is also giving because you are giving them a chance to serve.
3. Notice Your Reactions
Do you tense up or make excuses when kindness comes your way? Simply becoming aware of your reaction can start to shift it.
4. Ask for What You Need
Receiving starts with being willing to voice your needs. Charles Fillmore wrote, “Ask largely. You are heir to the kingdom.”
5. See Receiving as Sacred
Recognize that every gift, whether it is time, attention, or a physical item, is an expression of Divine flow. Your role is to let it in and let it move forward.
Receiving and the Law of Circulation
New Thought teaches that the universe works in cycles, giving and receiving, sowing and reaping, inhaling and exhaling.
If you only give without receiving, you create imbalance. Just like a breath, you must inhale as well as exhale to live.
Myrtle Fillmore said it beautifully: “We are channels for the flow of good. We must not close the channel at either end.”
When you receive, you keep the channel open. You make it easier for others to give, and you model the courage of vulnerability.
The Ripple Effect
When you receive well, you do more than benefit yourself:
- You encourage generosity in others.
- You deepen your relationships.
- You model a healthy, abundant mindset for your children, friends, and community.
Tony Robbins teaches, “Trade your expectation for appreciation and your whole life changes.” Receiving with appreciation transforms both you and the giver.
A Personal Reflection
I used to struggle with receiving. When someone offered to pay for my coffee or complimented my work, I would wave it off with, “You didn’t have to do that.”
One day, a mentor pulled me aside and said, “Neil, when you refuse a gift, you deny me the joy of giving.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that by not receiving, I was not being humble, I was stealing the other person’s moment of joy.
From then on, I started practicing saying “thank you” and letting it land. The difference in my relationships was immediate. People felt more connected, and I felt more supported.
The Warrior’s Challenge
For the next 7 days, practice receiving.
- Accept the compliment without diminishing it.
- Let someone help you without apologizing.
- Say “yes” to an offer you might normally decline.
Write down three times you allowed yourself to receive and how it felt, not just for you, but for the giver.
You may just find that opening your hands opens your heart, and that receiving is one of the most generous acts you can perform.
Final Thought:
In the words of Ernest Holmes, “Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.” If you believe you are worthy to receive, the mirror will reflect abundance. And when you receive with gratitude, you complete the Divine cycle, giving life a reason to give you even more.
