Tina shares more on choice and freedom
Well… that didn’t go as planned! I didn’t write a continuation of my article from Aug 9th last week as I said I would. I had a lot on my plate, and time ran short. I started to stress about all I had to do, including the writing… and nearly laughed out loud!
I was happy to catch myself getting caught up in the ‘have-tos’. This gave me freedom to make some choices.
I want to be honest and say my suggestion on Aug 9th of assessing the motivation or value in doing things didn’t really fall into play… I made some quick choices based on time available and the level of stress I felt over each thing to do.
This caused me to make a choice that involved breaking my word…
I chose to make preparing for my trip to the Stettler area for the weekend-long Nemetona Goddess Gathering (with out-of-town stops on either side of the retreat to visit friends) my priority. Something had to go, and I chose to let writing this article go.
Ok, this leads to an even bigger choice. Do I choose to keep filling my calendar with more than I can realistically do in a week? (Consequently eroding my self-confidence by breaking promises… either to my self or others.) Or do I adjust my expectations for what I can realistically do in a week and be impeccable with my word?
As I said, using my little book of ‘to do’s’ didn’t go fully as planned. Oh, I DID get a book and I did start writing things down. I even jotted down point form notes about the motivation for doing those things… for a day or two. And then I somehow forgot about the book for a while. (It’s not just me, is it? Have you ever forgotten about a new habit that you are attempting to develop?) I dutifully carried my book in my purse, but couldn’t seem to remember to use it regularly.
Ah, well. Opportunity for more choice! Choosing to be kind with myself, I felt happy when I came back to remembering to use the book and did my best to skip beating myself up for doing a poor job of developing this new habit. I also celebrating being able to check a few items off the list when I opened it up to add something new!
Writing this article has brought my attention back to the purpose of the little to do book, which is to determine the motivations for doing the items listed in it. This will give me more choice and therefore, a greater feeling of freedom.
These are the kinds of questions I’ve decided to ask myself:
Is this mine to do?
Is this really for someone else to do?
Asking these questions may help to eliminate some items off the list. I can choose to do the thing or to ask someone else to do it, or to simply let it go (not always easy) and cross it off the list.
Am I doing this because I enjoy it? If so, am I willing to give myself permission to do this simply because I enjoy it?
This helps monitor my sense of worthiness and the overbearing task master that lives inside my head. I can choose to remind myself that doing something simply because I enjoy it is what makes life enjoyable… that alone makes it worth doing!
Am I doing this because I’ll enjoy the outcome (even if I don’t enjoy doing the thing itself)?
Will doing this improve my life somehow? How?
These questions can be motivating to do the things that don’t bring immediate satisfaction. These questions also allow me to choose to take responsibility for myself and my life. I can choose to look at the consequences of doing vs not doing this thing and choose from there.
The best question might be, “Does doing this bring value to my life?”
This question might be a bigger dig. While the ‘to do’ item may not seem to benefit me directly (if we’re honest with ourselves, we all ask – even subconsciously – what’s in it for me?) the ‘to do’ may benefit me indirectly. For example, the value to me might be filling my need to feel like I am contributing to the world in some way.
It all seems good in theory… let’s see if I can make it work.
How about you? Are you motivated to do this with me? If you are, I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Please call or text me at 403-860-7311, or write to me at email@example.com
In light and love (and curiousity),
P.S. Create a beautiful week that includes feeling free-er!